ahctober, 22, 2008

I woke up to the tree smashing itself among my window this morning, although the moon was still out and standing proud I felt like it was mocking me. Probably because i had the same song stuck in my head as the night before. Life can really be a big mind game and the scariest part is, once you subtract everything, you are left with the solution, yourself.
You are the one in control, I think it only scares me because I am so dependent on people/family members/friends, even the ones who let me down I am dependent on them. It's hard, like rocks, to follow through and believe in a theory such as this, but it helps to just not care at times and be numb to the things less important, or the people you keep trying to please that don't matter in the end. I have heard so many times that you can't start going around helping people until you first help yourself.
Have you?
Have you helped yourself?
Are you happy with where you are, the path you have chosen to find yourself?
No one knows who they are yet and i don't think they ever will. Each decade of our lives change who we are, what we believe in, I know it has for me and it will continue to be that way. Sometimes I wish some situations would be as easy as the alignment of the planets. Everything fits here and works together there. That would be nice huh? Its one thing to say "I'd rather work hard and have a sweet ending," and mean it. It's another to, for once in life, go through a situation where there is no damage or heartbreak, just positive energy and good intentions. Simplicity is something I favor and enjoy, and I think it is simple and easy to have good intentions, just open your heart and don't be so afraid love.