I can't do it, I lose my words and forget everything completely.

I have been thinking a lot about guilt lately.
I have been thinking about different ways people handle it, and how people use it. I don't like when people just hand out guilt trips like they should be treated as gifts. There is nothing worse than having your day ruined by someone who you can't stop thinking about or feeling bad for, as if it is your fault. I think that if someone does that, then they really feel as if they are the ones at fault, and they don't know how to deal or handle it. At this point I usually just try my best to let them go and wish them best. That really is all you have to do sometimes, just wish someone the best even though you can dislike them with every bone in your body. It's nice to do things like that, it is a nice release. It doesn't work if you don't fully believe in it, believe me, I would know.
Anyways,
I haven't seen my mom in weeks and I miss her, but not really, yeah I do. I miss my momma. I miss what I wished for things to be, if that makes any sense at all. I miss a lot of things like the summer when I didn't care about shoes or bras. I miss the drums I could constantly hear that led me nowhere. I miss old friends, and I miss the love that didn't hurt anyone. I miss easy mistakes, and easy talks, I miss secret coffee dates.
But most of all, I miss __ ___.