<4

i want to leave so bad, especially if its as far as berlin germany, but im going to miss my baby.
things have been going so great, too great.
i love it, i love this, i love him.

"I'm-a-gonna show the way"

"I'll be the one to show you the way
You'll be the one to always complain
Three in the morning come-a bang bang bang
All out of fags and I just can't wait
Cancel the thing that I said I'd do
I don't feel comfortable talkin' to you
'Less you got the zipper fixed on my shoe
Then I'll be in the lobby drinking for two

Eighteen
Balding
Star
Golden
Falling
Hard

Look at the shakies
What's with the blush?
Fresh off the plane in my fuzzy rush
Everyone's gathered to idolize me
I hate the way you talk your Japanese scream
It's been too long since I left the shed
You kick the bucket and I'll swing my legs
Always remember the pact that we made
Too young to die but old isn't great

Eighteen
Balding
Star
Golden
Falling
Hard

I'm-a gonna show the way
I'm-a gonna show the way
I'm-a gonna show the way"


....I'ts all so true, too true to be real.

everything, everything, nothing.

i have decided that all the things i don't want to write in my actual journal i am just going to write in here because i can't let me secrets become exposed to whoever please to type in the link to my little blog spot! not that everyone is dying to read this or anything. i just feel like this is most necessary.
i'll also just go on and on about you because i don't want to look back at my pretty pages and see that they've been ruined with words of false hope. will someone please tell me how i am even capable of giving so many chances? is there something wrong with me, something wrong enough for me to allow myself to continuously get hurt time and time again? i guess no one knows, i doubt anyone does if i can't even figure it out. i hate writing long posts and even worse, reading them, so sorry about this one.
:/
today is the first day in a long time where yassi and i have not spent every thursday night together doing what we do best,
_ _ _ _ _ _ _. tehe, its our little secret, just ours. it's nice to have something we can call our own.

11/9/08

Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind

In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different "kind"
I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love what happened here
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full; so slow on the split

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind

Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?
Now I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines



Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall, fall behind?

"It's not that interesting but i'd like to keep it a secret so i'll have, something left to give."

I think that when I try and make people feel welcome they think I'm faking it and just being mean. I think a lot of people think I'm faking it, when it comes down to other things.
The truth is, half of the time, I am.
tehehe.
;)

What?

I prayed for those who were against same sex marriage and those who are discriminatory against anyone for that matter. I prayed for God to ease their hearts and take their blindfolds off so they could just see the truth and love, nothing else. But then I realized, am I praying to the same God they are?
It can't be.
How could it be?
It scares, me. I'm so scared of all the confusion our world runs on.
It's all a big whirl of thoughts. We are all a big whirl of thoughts.
YOUR LIFE.
YOUR LIFE.
YOUR LIFE.
YOUR LIFE.
It's your life.
it's your life.
this is the day.

"You're Not Even Real"

Yes you are, you are completely real,
It's time for me to face my fears,
And follow my own advice.
...I love you though.